Best Man Guide
Let’s get one thing out of the way. Unless you are an experienced public speaker you will be nervous. This is perfectly natural and not entirely negative. A bit of adrenaline will focus your attention and fuel your performance. It becomes a problem if the nerves go too far and panic sets in. Luckily there are a few things you can do to lower your anxiety levels.
Keep it in Perspective
The fate of the world does not rest on your speech so don’t take it so seriously. It is just the unknown that is scaring you. But, as with most things, once you take the plunge you realise it isn’t half as bad as you imagined.
Most people have a fear of public speaking. And your audience are no different so they will respect you for having the balls to stand up to give your speech. Take confidence from this.
Compared to other public speaking occasions, wedding receptions are one of the easiest audiences. They will all be on your side and want you to do well. I kept on telling myself that it was just a few words in front of friends.
If you can smile and laugh a little before and during your speech you will find your stress levels decrease significantly. Early on in your speech make a joke about yourself and/or being nervous. The audience will warm to you even more.
Preparation
If you have done all the preparation of writing a quality speech and practised it many times, your reward will be an increase in confidence when it comes to the big day. If you have yet to do so, read and put into practise the previous articles on this website.
Calming Techniques
Your breathing is intrinsically linked to your emotional state. When you are nervous the evolutionary “fight or flight” response kicks in and your breaths become quicker and shallower. But you can break this cycle by taking control of your breathing. Focus on taking long, slow, deep breaths into your belly. Repeat this for a few minutes and you should find your anxiety levels have fallen. If you want to explore this further the Relaxation Response is a good book on the subject.
Hypnotherapy can be a useful aid in breaking your mind’s belief that public speaking is a threatening experience. A hypnosis download called How to Enjoy Your Best Man's Speech is available on this link.
Dutch Courage
You may be tempted to have a few drinks beforehand to “calm the nerves”. A couple may relax you but don’t over do it. Your anxiety levels will rise again when your senses, memory and speech become impaired.
The Meal
Many a best man has found the meal to be the most nervous time. Before hand you will be too busy with everything. But as you sit down for the dinner you find things quieten down and your mind turns to your speech. Anxiety and tension are not far behind, so take control and nip these negative thoughts in the bud. At the meal be as animated as you can, make conversation with the people around you, offer yourself for any task that need doing - it is unlikely that you will feel like eating anyway. If you do start to think about your speak, only concentrate on the first couple of lines and getting them right. With a good start the rest will fall into place.
and your other duties on the Wedding Day..